Yesterday I had a very unexpected and wonderful conversation with an angel at work. The parents of one of the younger actors has been on set a lot recently and we've struck up conversations. Turns out, because of the fans and many websites regarding this project, the actor's parents have found this blog and have read it. They told me this on Friday night and I was pleased. (Any writer is pleased when they are being read!)
Today the actor's mom mentioned she had read about Jen dying and she told me how sorry she was about it. I got choked up by the unexpected warmth and kindness and we talked a bit more about it and I ended up crying a bit more, which I clearly needed to do.
That was all wonderful enough -- comfort far from home about such a hard part of my life.
But then I mentioned that my niece and nephew are at a tough age and I'm worried about them and am not ever sure what to do or say, but that I try to stay in touch, even if it's random comments on Facebook. This Angel told me that what I am doing is what I should be doing and to not stop. She said her own mother had died when she was 22 and that her aunt stayed close, always in touch, and by the time she was in her 30's she and her aunt had become really close and she realized how important all that connection had been over the years. This story made me cry harder because I really needed to hear it.
It's hard not to feel hopeless sometimes. I know Grace and Matthew will find their way and be successes at whatever the put their minds to. Jen raised some amazing kids. But it's hard to watch them stumble and not be able to help them every step after what they've been through. After what we have all been through.
Thank you dear Angel. I will remember you and this conversation for years to come.