Julia's Mexico City

366/2012: Day 113 Flash!

Dang the flash on the iPhone is bright. Sorry Mouse!

17 Years Ago I Got a Bunny

We miss the Bun very much.

366/2012: Day 97 The Cat

Mouse had to go to the vet yesterday. She hates the carry box until she gets to the exam room then the carry box looks really good.

Life With Harper At Eight Weeks

Only eight weeks?? It feels so much longer than that. But in a good way. She's already outgrown so many of her clothes, though this is not a surprise as she was a week late and over eight pounds at birth. Thank goodness for all the amazing hand-me-downs we got from everyone!

Harper is so alert now, looking right at you, smiling, chatting. She looks directly at toys and colorful things and spends a lot of time on her jungle play mat, wiggling and reaching out. I've seen her grab an object and pull it toward her two times now. Excellent developmental progress!

We are very lucky. Harper is a good sleeper (knock wood) giving us at least 5-6 hours in a row before waking up to eat again. Then she'll sleep for another 2 hours or so. I feel rested most of the time and I am soooooo grateful! During the day she eats fairly constantly and hasn't gotten into a regular rhythm of naps yet, but that will come in another two months or so. I am just taking things day by day.

I am also very lucky that Kurt works from home and is flexible, so I can get a break when I need it. Yesterday I went to run errands on my own (TJ's, etc) and loved being out and about. Next week I'm getting my hair done after about 4 months of neglect. That's going to feel good.

Twice this week I went out alone with Harper. The first trip was to Babies R Us for a few sundry items that were on major sale. (I've gotten quite used to buying from Amazon with my free "Amazon Mom" prime shipping. Getting stuff in 2 days without paying extra is awesome.) Today I went to a Baby Play class in Santa Monica at a place called Books and Cookies. I figured I have to start getting out and getting practise with Harper -- lugging the gear, getting in and out of the car, breastfeeding in strange places without all the pillows, etc. Learning new motor skills is always a challenge! I liked the class and it was nice to see other moms and babies out and about. Harper was the youngest in today's class, the next oldest was four months. I know the more I do it, the easier it will be and hopefully Harper will get used to all the comings and goings and be chill about it. So far she likes riding in the car, generally snoozing.

Our two month doctor check up is next week and I can't wait to find out how much she weighs and how tall she is. As for myself, I have lost all the baby weight and more. I gained 27 pounds and have now lost 32. No, I don't know how I did it! Breastfeeding really takes it out of you I guess. Again, very grateful!

We've had a good time these last eight weeks, and we've had very hard times. Saying good-bye to Bunny was just gut wrenching. We are still grieving her loss. She was such a good spirit and added so much richness to our lives. Sweet Bunny is already missed so much and will be forever.

As for life aside from Harper, I'm slowly building momentum back on my/our writing projects, having meetings here at the house with partners and emailing people about my feature script. While I am not able to jump right back to writing, I am moving other projects forward, small steps at a time every week. It feels good to do, reminding me there are things in the world other than diapers and feedings. (Sometimes it gets overwhelming!)

We are oh so lucky and I am grateful every day for all that we have and how amazing Harper is. Grandma Jane (this will not be her official "grandma name" - we'll have to see what Harper calls her) comes to visit soon and that will mean more outings with Harper, more practise and strengthening of other mommy muscles. I'm really looking forward to it!

366/2012: Day 31

Bunny came home today. So sad.

366/2012: Day 30

Lighting a candle for Bunny.

366/2012: Day 28 Sad Sad Day

Today we had to say good-bye to our cat, Bunny, and we are so sad.

Here is her last morning in her favorite sunbeam.

Almost 17 years ago I went to the West LA Animal Shelter looking for an adult cat. There, in one of the little cages, was this little cat, curled up but alert. I asked to see her and hold her and found she had a goofy little face and no tail. (She's a rumpy manx, as it turns out.) She sat in my arms, not afraid, but not terriby pleased to be where she was. I knew she was for me and it turns out I could not have picked a better cat.

When Kurt and I got married, he had just said goodbye to his 18 year old cat, Wookie. Bunny took an instant like to Kurt and they became good friends. I'm so happy we had ten years together.

Bunny was almost 19. Practically unheard of in Manx cats. Right around when Harper came home, Bunny was not doing well. Turns out she was in kidney failure. We got her stabilized and worked every day to keep her healthy. She did well for a month, but took a turn for the worse this past week, the doctor thinks she had a stroke. She was still walking and eating with Kurt's help, but she was clearly not well. And she was not the Bunny we knew and loved. It's such a hard decision to make - when do you say good bye. We couldn't let her go like this any longer and today was the day.

We had a nice woman vet come to the house to put her to sleep. Kurt was feeding Harper and I held Bunny just as I did the first day I met her. First she was sedated and Kurt and I pet and pet her, telling her how much we loved her, then she got the final shot and in a few peaceful minutes she was gone.

I've been crying on and off all day. It's strange that having been through family deaths and even the birth of a child, this was one of the most grown up things I've ever done. There is something powerful about being a custodian to a gentle being that is dependent on you. You have to do right by them, even when it's the hardest decision.

She had a good long life and we will miss her so much. But we are so glad that there was a good month of her spending time with Harper. We know Harper got the Bunny blessing before Bunny moved on.

God we are going to miss Bunny.

366/2012: Day 19

Sssshhhhh! Everyone is sleeping!

366/2012: Day 8

Bunny is much improved thanks to Kurt's heroic efforts. She's eating and gaining weight and generally doing great. Every day from now on is bonus Bunny time.

Bittersweet Christmas Eve

Harper is wonderful. That is first and foremost. She is sweet and (OMG) has slept at least 6 hours in a row these past three nights. What a wonderful Christmas gift! I realized though, that we didn't buy her a darn thing. We'll have to find a nice ornament to mark her first Christmas. She is cute and wiggly and amazing which helps during these crazy first few weeks! But we are getting used to the new normal and enjoying so many of the little moments with her. The faces, the finger grabs, the gas.

How come no one told me how cute little baby farts are? Seriously cute.

But all this is tempered by our dear Bunny being on her last legs. It's been a roller coaster of vet visits and trying some different medications to at least make her feel better. She's 18 (almost 19) and has lived a wonderful long life. I've had her for almost 17 years and was so happy when Kurt and I got married that Bunny loved him as much as I did. So now we are watching her day to day, hoping we don't have to make that very tough call too soon. She could be here for a few more months or it could be a few days or a week or two. So hard to know. We don't want her to suffer so finding the right time to say good bye is a brutal decision. We've been blessed by such a wonderful little kitty spirit, no one wants her to go. Sad sad.

Then there is the usual missing of Jen at Christmas -- imagine what she would have bought for Harper! And Jack is gone too and I wish we could be on Maui with Mom.

So our little first Christmas with Harper is low key: poinsettia plant instead of a tree, a smattering of gifts for each other and Kurt's mom (who will join us tomorrow) and lots of kisses for Harper and Bunny. I've lit a few candles, including one that smells like a pine tree, and Kurt has poured us both a glass of wine.

I'm as grateful as ever for all that we have, especially now with Harper.

Merry Christmas all.

Harper and Bunny and Kurt

 

(Awesome "Stormpooper" hat was a gift from our friend Ron. Thanks again Ron!)