There are lots of college and high school graduation pictures on Facebook this month and then I watched the finale of Glee this morning -- all the seniors graduating and off to whatever their futures hold. I was surprised at how moved I was at the thought of graduation (not the show itself). I thought back to my Seabury Graduation and how empty the day felt hours after the ceremonies were done and all there was to do was help Kevin pack up his room and wait for the party to start in the evening. It mimicked a big yawning chasm to cross before leaving for college. That afternoon was just odd and sad and quiet as Kevin and Lissa and I tried to pretend we were still having a great time.
Graduating from LMU was a little bit like that, though not as a sad. There was a trip to europe coming up that would extend the celebration. Instead of not knowing what came next, I knew I had to get ready to go traveling for two months. That was super fun. (When I got back from that trip and felt totally at sea, well, that was a different feeling entirely.)
Graduations are the symbol for moving on, closing one chapter and opening another. Maybe I'm moved more by these pictures and tv shows this year because of Harper. One chapter of my life is closed (before children) and this amazing new part has opened. I am loving this new phase in life so much and I am so happy, truly. Yet there is some melancholy and a few tears as I say good bye to the former life and move into the future. It's not because I miss that former life, more that it ended and endings can be hard even when all you want to do is move forward.
The day came to finally fly to Los Angeles to start my freshman year of school at LMU. We were going to the airport and I was so sad to say good bye to my home on Maui. Yes, I would be back for Christmas in a few months, but I wouldn't live there any more, I would only be back for visits from then on. I felt panicky and terrified and had that "what am I doing???" moment. But I couldn't turn back, no way! I had been waiting so long for that day. But dang it was hard to say good-bye.
But once you say good-bye, there are so many amazing new hellos to say.
Hello Harper!
(I just wish Jen could have come along in my future.)
The Jacaranda trees are blooming, they instantly take me back to Maui and spring at Seabury. When the trees turned purple, summer vacation was so close you could touch it.
I've been listening to the stories about the 20th anniversary of the LA Riots as an outsider because I wasn't here. I was on my second backpacking trip to Europe. But here's the odd/awkward thing: I sort of wish I had been here. Not that I wanted it to happen, but it's weird when everyone you know experiences something together on a massive scale and you didn't. (I got my chance to be part of the larger group in the 1994 earthquake...)
Instead, this was me in spring of 1992 (in Kilkenny, one of my favorite towns in Ireland):
I had been fortunate enough to backpack through Europe three years earlier after graduating from LMU. I went with Kelly, Katie, John, Dave and Vince. Kelly and Dave went on their own after we started in London. Vince, John, Katie and I had a great time. We got along so well for two months with only one tense time (in Tours, I believe). Couldn't have asked for a better traveling group. I liked it so much I wanted to go again, and this time went on my own. I saved up a bunch of money working on Alien 3 at Boss Film Studios, got my student ID card and Eurail pass and I was off. (Oh and the ubiquitous "Let's Go!" 1992 edition.)
When you travel alone you meet a lot of people, occasionally joining them on their next travel leg. I bounced around, making Paris my home base, taking trains here and there, visiting my pen pals in Germany, seeing the World Expo in Seville and meeting up with the Boss Film crew who was working in Cortina, Italy, on Cliffhanger. I spent the weekend there, climbed a mountain (as you do) and then met up with them again in Rome.
I really fell in love with Rome on this trip and it is still my favorite city to this day. I could go there any time, in a heartbeat. And it was in Rome that I found my best souvenir, one I still carry. My wallet. Just off the Trevi fountain is a leather store (I could take you there today if you like) and I found just the wallet I was looking for. Most waiters at cafes carry a money pouch that opens like an accordion and I wanted to find something similar and there it was:
It looked a bit spiffier 20 years ago, but it's aged so beautifully and I couldn't imagine using anything else even though the lining is giving way.
I went back to the same store when Kurt and I were on our honeymoon, but they didn't have anything like it to tempt me. (I went back to my favorite paper store and bought a bunch of stuff there instead...it's just past the Pantheon on the right side, I can take you there too!)
When she's old enough, I can't wait for us to take Harper to Rome and all the wonderful places we love in Europe. And when she goes traveling on her own, I wonder what will excite her and what souvenir she'll find that might last 20+ years.
Ten years ago today I woke up extra excited! Kurt and I were getting married. Jen and Grace and I went to get our hair done, then had In-N-Out for lunch. We all met up at the Los Angeles Police Revolver and Athletic Club and got changed into our wedding finery. It was a lovely day and all the flowers and leis were perfect. We took photos before hand, the last few gunshots were fired off at the range next door, we had a sip of champagne, then we got in our positions. Mom walked me up the stairs/aisle, Dorian sang beautifully, Jen and Glenn were waiting for us at the waterfall. Tom had a lovely ceremony and married us.
Joy!
Then a wonderful party with friends from all over, dear loved ones, a few of whom are no longer here. Jen, Jack and my friend Jai and her lovely children. So glad there were there to help us celebrate and get us started on this wonderful path.
I can't believe it's been ten years already. Time truly flies when you are having fun and Kurt has been the most fun person in the world. How did I get so lucky to be married to a man like him? He's handsome and funny and brilliant and determined and dedicated and just so much fun to hang out with.
And soon there will be three of us! Amazing.
No one is more grateful than me for all the wonderful things I have in my life (and are about to have)!
Thank you Kurt for making my life even better than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. Here's to the next ten!
The weekend before 9/11 we were in Boston for a funeral. Kurt's cousin Beverly had died and family gathered in Cambridge for the services. Kurt and I were engaged and this was the first time I had met most of his family. We flew home on Sunday, September 9.
My mom flew to LA on Monday the 10th to stay with us for a few days to help send out wedding invitations and to go with me to shop for a wedding dress. Tuesday morning, 9/11, the phone rang at about 7:00. Since my mom was with us, I knew it wasn't her and I had always told my sister not to call before 9am. I picked up the phone and it was Jen calling to say "turn on your tv, they're bombing New York!" I jumped up and turned on the tv. My mom was sleeping in the living room and I woke up Kurt as well. We all sat dumbfounded, watching the news.
A while later, after they had determined which aircraft had been hijacked, Kurt noticed that the plane that hit the South Tower was United 175 from Boston. The 8:00 am flight was the same that we had flown home two days earlier. We still had our boarding passes. It was even more sad to think that our flight crew might have been the same that died on 9/11. A tiny coincidence for us.
It was a strange strange day. After a few hours we could not watch anymore. The job I was working had production offices based in NYC (they were all fine, thankfully) so we skipped work for a day or two. On 9/11 my mom and I had planned to go to David's Bridal and look at dresses. We decided we might as well go and called to see if they were open. They were and we were the only people in the place. I found my sweet wedding dress on that very sad horrible day.
For the few days after 9/11 when all flights were grounded, it was shockingly quiet. We live in the landing path of Santa Monica Airport and not that far from LAX. There were no planes in the sky and it was a stunning absence. The quiet of no airplanes anywhere seemed so disturbing to me, proving how messed up things were.
I admit I was nervous for a week or so after. I'm so glad Kurt had already moved in and that my mom was there with us. My instincts were to duck when I was outside because who knew what could come from the sky at any moment. It wasn't an overpowering feeling and it wasn't rational, but there it was.
Amazing that ten years have gone by and how much has changed. When we picked up my mom at the airport, we could meet her as she came out of the gate. When we took her to the airport to return to Maui (on a nearly empty flight) we could not even drive to the terminal. I think we had to drop mom off at a spot where a shuttle bus picked her up to drive into the terminals.
We moved to Maui when I was eight, just about to turn nine in December of 1975. My grandparents had lived in this house for only a few years before we did, then Jack moved in when he and Mom got married in 1982. I'm sure it's true of anyone that you might not know everything about the wider area where you grew up, small, old neighborhoods, former townsites, etc. But Maui is an island so it's a bit more contained.
Being home this week I have seen two neighborhoods I've never seen before. One I knew existed, but never knew anyone who lived or worked there so never had a reason to go. The other I didn't know still existed and had never been to. It sort of blows my Maui mind.
Tuesday we were doing errands in the industrial part of lower Wailuku, towards Waiehu, and we were talking about Happy Valley because a friend of Mom's brought her some food after Jack died. The food came from Takamiya Market in Happy Valley. (Here's a cool article about Takamiya on it's 60th anniversary.) I asked if we could drive through Happy Valley as I didn't think I'd ever been there. Or if I had, it was so long ago I don't remember it at all. (I love this video. I don't speak Japanese but the images show you how very local and awesome the place is. I'm now very hungry for some kalbi and, well, just about anything on those tables!)
So we did and it's a classic little place with old shop fronts and houses. I'm sorry I didn't take any photos as we were just driving through. Takamiya is the most famous thing there, go check it out next time you are on Maui.
The other spot I'd never been to was Puunene Village, or what's left of it. Yes I've driven by the Puunene Mill a million times on the way to Kihei/Makena/Wailea. I've flown over it a million times as well. When I was a student pilot, Puunene Mill was the easy landmark on your final approach to runway 2 at OGG. You needed to be at 800 feet by Puunene Mill. In fact, a few years ago we flew Mokulele Airlines from the Big Island to Maui in the small plane and as we got to Puunene Mill I looked at the altimeter and we were bang on 800 feet. It made me smile.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the village. Yesterday mom and I were doing more errands, dropping off old paint to the paint collection/recycle place as well as taking used books to the Dirty Bookstore. Okay don't get the wrong idea. There is a free used bookstore run by the Maui Friends of the Library. Both spots are in Puunene village. Mom was driving and I had no idea where we were going except that it was "near Zippy's" so I thought both spots must be in the newer industrial area of Kahului. But then we turned left at the mill and kept going past it. I was amazed to find us in the old village, smack dab next to the mill.
There aren't many buildings left, most are part of the old school, but on the way in is a church (Note the mill smoke stacks behind):
Then the main school building:
Classic building with the wooden louvers. I've never seen wooden window louvers anywhere but Hawaii. Lihikai Elementary had them too. According to wikipedia, the building is a registered historic site built in 1922 and is used as offices now.
The rear of the school building with other outbuildings:
A classroom building:
More outbuildings:
and the Bookstore, which is directly behind the main school building:
The nice thing is, the bookstore was really busy when we were there yesterday. It's really well stocked and organized. Great resource for Maui. (Oh and my mom's friend calls it the "Dirty Bookstore" only because it's RIGHT NEXT to the Mill and so everything gets extremely dusty, red-dirt dirty. If you live(d) here, you know exactly what I mean.)
There was one other building that looked like another church or maybe community hall or theater (?), now being used for Mill stuff:
There didn't seem to be any houses left but as we drove back past the Mill, there is this awesome building:
(I found this on Panoramio). "HC&SCo. Puunene Meat Market 1926" (HC&S stands for Hawaii Commercial and Sugar, fyi.)
I'm amazed at Mill Towns in general because places like the meat market and school are right next door to the mill itself. Not half a mile a way, but right there. The buildings behind the meat market above, that is the working mill. See map below: upper left is the mill with Meat Market, lower right is the school and village area.
And that sugar processing smell is quite distinct. Not bad really, (or I'm used to it from driving past Paia Mill for decades), kind of sour sweet. (I visited a friend in Northfield Minnesota and there is a Malt-O-Meal factory there and it smells like baking bread or at least a lovely cereal aroma, sometimes chocolaty.)
I'm still amazed at going to Puunene Village yesterday. I feel like it's a room in my house I never knew existed. Mom was surprised I'd never been there, but why would I have? in the 70's and 80's there was only the school, which had a very small student body by then, and any of the other buildings were probably just A&B (the company that owns the mill) company buildings. But I'm so happy to have seen it. I don't feel so funny about never spending time in Happy Valley. I grew up in Spreckelsville so our go-to place for local grinds was Paia or Makawao or Pukalani.
These Mill towns were really thriving places on Maui, way back when. Paia used to be jumping with many theaters and stores and shops and schools and banks. Even Spreckelsville was big at one time. Not as big as Paia or Puunene, but still a busy village. When I was in elementary school, there were still buildings along Spreckelsville road (this road becomes Stable road when you cross Hana Highway), a church and a couple houses and maybe a store or post office building. We even picked up a couple of students from there on the school bus one year. But now there is nothing but a few cement foundations.
I love that there is still so much to learn and see in my hometown.
A friend of a friend is going to Honolulu and asked for some advice on where to go and what to do with her elderly and not very mobile mother. I suggested some classics like having Mai Tais at the Royal Hawaiian or going to The House WIthout A Key at the Halekulani (I've never been but hear amazing things). I also suggested the Arizona memorial (assuming they could get a wheelchair if necessary) and 'Iolani Palace. And lastly, a drive around the island with lunch on the North Shore.
I started thinking about Oahu from "small kid time" as we say in Hawaii. We moved to Maui just before I turned nine so Oahu holds some deep memories for me that are more like dreams sometimes. One North Shore destination I mentioned was Matsumomoto Shave Ice. I don't think I've ever been there myself, but have heard of it and seen it on various "what to do when in Hawaii" shows. The reason I mention it now is because when I found their website, the first image on the front page took my breath away:
That white bridge is a tiny kernel of a memory from weekends of camping when my parents were still married. I say "weekends" but we may have only gone once to Mokuleia with the giant green and yellow canvas tent and the camping bunk beds. Mokuleia was just past Haleiwa and we drove over that bridge. It seemed to take ALL DAY to get there in my three or four year old mind. Kurt and my mom and I drove around the island a few years ago and it seemed to hardly take any time at all. But that bridge sticks with me, reminds me of strange adventures at the beach -- fishermen catching a sea turtle and all of us rushing to see, polo ponies in corrals near the beach, dad firing up the campstove to make breakfast. The tent being wet in the rain. That bridge led to a far away place and to salty sweet hazy memories.
Another location nearer to where we lived when the parents were married was Hanauma Bay. It was right up/over the hill from our house on Kalalau Ave. We went there all the time and it is so beautiful that if I lived on Oahu, I would hope I would still go there often. I was the youngest of the siblings and neighborhood friends, so I don't know who took us there or dropped us off or came with us. All I remember is that we would walk the long (to a little kid) road down to the beach from the parking area and plant ourselves in front of the keyhole. See that round open spot in the coral in the middle of the picture? That's the "keyhole".
Here's a better shot of the Keyhole at what looks like very low tide:
When you were a bit older, you know, like seven or eight, you would walk around the left side of the bay to the Toilet Bowl.
There was a hole in the rocks and waves would come in from beneath, with action like a flushing toilet. The "bowl" was not deep. Check out this video:
There are disclaimers aplenty on this video, but basically the kids look like how we looked (though without parents around), enjoying jumping in and out, riding up and down with the flushing action. Those were the awesome carefree Free Range days!
I love going back to Oahu to see these places and stir up memories from deep storage in my memory banks. I look forward to taking Sweet Potato there and giving her some memories of her own.
I was cleaning out drawers recently and found a bag of old pins. In high school, I used to wear them on a "previously owned" men's suit coat over jeans and a polo shirt. Good times! (I wouldn't wear them all at once, mind you, just whatever I felt that day.)
My sentimental favorite is the "fuck art, let's dance" pin because I believe I got it from my friend Jai. She was the coolest, most out there chick I ever met. I adored her. She introduced me to tons of music including Adam Ant. She had crazy music I never heard of including a neon pink record by a band called The Fabulous Poodles. The song of theirs that sticks out in my mind was "Tit Photographers Blues." You can listen to a sample here. (Caution, it starts playing automatically.)
I loved Jai.*
*Jai very tragically died in a house fire about eight years ago. I miss her very much.
Being the youngest of four sisters, almost the last of our friends to procreate, and having started much later in life to have kids, I'm amazed at how much I already knew about pregnancy. But then came a few of the "side effects" I didn't know or expect at all.
There are the big ones that you hear about in movies or tv (you know, the comedy fodder): constipation, gas, heartburn, morning sickness, dizziness, hemorrhoids, stretch marks. Fortunately, I've only had minor versions of the first three (so far)...
But there are two side effects I didn't hear about that have been quite surprising. Let's start with pregnancy sinuses. Not all women are affected by this but I am and how. They are mostly not a problem during the day. Oh I can tell there is some swelling in my sinuses, but I can still breath regularly. No, it's at night when I lie down that is sucky. At first it's no problem but hours later I am a mouth breathing troglodyte, tossing and turning, my tongue turning to cotton. Fun! When I wake up, it takes an hour or two to settle down.
Why does this happen? Apparently one's body is making all kinds of cool mucusy stuff to help with the baby area, especially the infamous "mucus plug". (It blocks stuff from coming into the uterus to keep baby safe and then is expelled before labor. Apparently it's not unlike snot being expelled from your nose, except it doesn't come out your nose.... TMI?) With all this awesome mucus production going on, my body said, "Hey! We should just make mucus everywhere, this is a blast!" The official name: Rhinitis of Pregnancy.
(Rhinitis...hmm...I bet there would be no other girls named Rhinitis...)
The other unexpected side effect? ITCHY NIPPLES!!!!! Christ on a cracker people, why didn't anyone say anything?? When the boobs start growing (and yeah, all I need are BIGGER boobs!) (Though I guess I don't hear Kurt complaining) the skin gets stretched and itchy. But damn! There were a few weeks when it was pretty wacky and let me tell you, trying not to scratch your nipples in public is HARD. It's calmed down now, but the girls are only going to get bigger again so I know it will happen again. Women about to get pregnant: consider yourself warned!
I've been fortunate so far with the standard stuff. There was no hurling, just some general nausea in the first trimester. I've moved on to the heartburn phase of the pregnancy so I keep my tums and gum handy at all times, but days go by when it's not a problem.
I'm not really complaining too much about this, because again, I've been lucky so far. And honestly, when I get heartburn or even an itchy nipple, it reminds me that things are progressing just as they should be and the Sweet Potato is doing just fine.
I found this old notebook in a drawer this weekend. It's a small notebook I used to carry in my purse to jot down things on the fly. In 2005 Kurt and I were up in Seattle visiting his brother and two of his cousins had come for a visit as well. I had met Burt but not Richard. Both are science geniuses and charming in their oddness. Burt is a fluid dynamics expert (used to teach at MIT and now is one of the few experts in the country who design air flow systems for skyscrapers and is a brilliant cellist) and Richard was a chemist and mathemetician (he is also a world ranked chess player, even played against Bobby Fischer as a kid (but lost).) Anyway, listening to the two of them talk was wild as I am NOT a scientist of any kind. I had to write down a few gems but I didn't note who said what.
At one point they were talking about how in 2nd year physics they learned "This year physical observables will become eigenvalues of hermitian operators."
I think I burst out laughing at that point and grabbed my notebook to write this down.
I then learned that ""mathematicians laugh at physicists, Niels Bohr was a bastard and that Linus Pauling "was no dumb-ass." (Finally words I could understand!)
The whole visit was a lesson for me in "wow, I had a completely different college experience."
In another time and place, I believe it was Paris in 2006, we were visiting with our friends Pranab and Kate, also two very highly educated people (both PhDs - he in physics, she in....oh man I forget! Sorry Kate!). Pranab is slightly more down to earth than the above cousins, but still said something I had to write down: "I had a key to the [nuclear] reactor!" Dude, that's cool.
Later we must have been talking about food (hey, we were in Paris, it's often a big topic) and Kurt said, "It suddenly occurred to me that I misplaced a large wedge of cheese." Context? Who knows -- so much more fun out of context.
I wanted to write these things down only because we still talk about the brainiac cousins and their conversations that fly over our heads (okay, mostly MY head). Good times!
I live in Los Angeles. In the summer of 2006 I worked in Mexico City. Instead of sending out giant emails full of photos to friends and families, I started this blog. The summer turned out to be a crazy one and this blog and my camera kept me sane. I didn't want to stop observing and writing when I got home to LA, so I kept the blog going.
