I have been nervous and unsure why. But after last night and today, it all started turning around. Last night I spoke to good friends who are in this VFX biz and they reminded me that A) This is something I've done a zillion times before and B) When in doubt, just shoot it! (This is not the ideal way to work in VFX, but it's always nice to be reminded of your bottom line option.) It was nice to hear again, thank you Wendy and Jacquie!
Then this morning I finally read the script and I got really excited because you know what? I LOVE MOVIES and I get to go work on a really cool one! I started thinking about the sets and locations and costumes and etc etc etc and I got really excited about working again. And reading the script and noting what FX will be required also reminded me that there is no new FX ground being broken in this movie so what am I worried about not knowing? Oh and PS, since tomorrow is my first official day and I fly to London on Wednesday, I don't have to know it all tomorrow.
Part of what I've read in books on grief are that often you can feel like you don't know anything, you lose your self-confidence. It makes sense, the world has turned upside down, the floor has dropped out, rug pulled out from under (metaphors...) so how can you feel safe and secure in anything? Once I read that, and realized it's normal to feel that way, I relaxed a bit. My self-confidence didn't return in full force, but it did come out from hiding.
So, London, here I come!