Selling Yourself As A Parent

You've heard about the paperwork: applications, proof of birth certificates and marriage licenses, criminal background checks, reference letters, medical reports, financial statements, etc etc etc. A book full. Whether you are doing domestic or international, you have to go through it all. For domestic adoption, you must also write a "Dear Birthparent" letter. This is where you sell yourselves as potential parents to a birthmom/parent's unborn child, waiting to be born and adopted. 

No pressure.

This is the hardest writing assignment there is. Some of it is really easy -- write about what kind of dad I think Kurt will be. My shortened version: Gentle, kind, a great role model for working hard, fun, encouraging, brave, unflappable in the worst moments, hugely supportive and a great partner in all the moments. And about three more paragraphs of that.

But how do you convince a perfect stranger that you will be the best parents to their unborn baby? What do you say that tips the scale in your favor? It's hard to know, really. So the best advice is to be yourself, give fun and telling details about ourselves and our lives. Know what to leave out. In one draft I wrote that Kurt's favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. He informed it would be best to take that out as they are also the most hated football team in the country. They are? Yes they are, I was informed by a former DC native and Redskins fan. Hmmm. Okay, out it comes. (But not before a giggle of a moment imagining when some anxious birth parent reads our letter and announces "NO CHILD OF MINE WILL BE ADOPTED BY A COWBOYS FAN!" and moves on to the next possible candidates.)

And while chances are awfully good we'll become parents via domestic adoption in the not too distant future, I have my moments of "What if we never get picked?" when reviewing our letter. It's brutal.

So we'll just be ourselves and the stork will come when the stork finds us a match. Hurry along now, Mr. Stork.