Answering More Questions

It's been a while since I continued the "Getting to Know You" questions from this article. (Previous questions answered here.)

Today's questions are:

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Openness. Being able to laugh or cry together (or both at the same time). Being able to say "hey it really bummed me out when you said XYZ" to a friend and not have it be a fight. My closest friends share similar values in self discovery, they are working toward knowing themselves deeply, making positive change in their lives and sharing that journey. 

17. What is your most treasured memory?

This is tough. I've had a great life so far, so many good memories to treasure! So, you know when you do proofs in geometry you have givens? Well my givens are the obvious things: Harper being born, our wedding party, etc etc.

But the memory that popped into my head when I read the question was from 1985. It was Valentine's Day and in chapel (Seabury Hall is an Episcopalian school.) my favorite teacher/woman/person was speaking about love, giving, selflessness, aloha spirit. And as she did, she was stringing a lei to symbolize that. Then she said that she wanted to give that lei to a person who embodied all those traits - Julia? Could you come up here?

I cried.

That was powerful, wonderful, amazing. Not only did I get recognized for something I didn't even realize I was, but recognized by someone as inspiring to me as this woman. Wow. That is a treasure that lives forever in my heart and I work to pay that forward as often as I can.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

Sadly, that's an easy one. The morning my sister died. (Seven years ago this month.) I can still hear my niece's hysterical voice on the phone telling me the news, her dad in the background weeping. Then I had to call my mother and tell her. Then I had to call my sister's father and tell him. Horrible, brutal, awful. 

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

I would book tickets to many places in the world and travel travel travel. I would visit friends and family and squeeze all that I could from that year.

This is something I am actually going to start doing very soon. Harper is getting old enough to do some traveling and it's been over five years since I used my passport and that is just not right! I've made new friends that I have not yet met in real life, babies have been born and are half grown who I've never seen. Travel has always been a priority in my life and I've not been focused on it for a while. That changes now.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

A friendship is another kind of marriage. It means commitment and support, in good times and back, for richer for poorer, sickness and health. It means honesty and letting go of fear, not worrying what the other person thinks of you when you are at your worst, knowing they will be there for you when you come out the other side.