I leaped off a huge mountain recently. By choice. Sort of like base jumping, but with a rough landing.
I'm now down in a deep dark valley, looking up. And breathing deeply for the climb that is ahead. Maybe there is a well cleared path and I just can't see it yet. For now I'm cutting my own path and damn my machete is dull.
But light will come, a way will open up.
I always have hope.
Sometimes I have posted my goals in previous years. I felt that it would make me accountable to you all, dear readers. So I would have an audience and would therefor walk my talk.
But this year I am simply walking and not doing much talking about it. Maybe some things are well suited to speaking up, to be held accountable and I have told a tiny few people about one or maybe two tiny specific things, but that's it. And I usually told these specific people because I will need their help.
Here's to walking, no matter how long it takes.
I quote Elvis himself: A little less conversation a little more action please.
In yoga yesterday we held pigeon pose for a long minute on each side. That was uncomfortable. But I want to change, I want to strengthen and stretch my body, so I have to go there and stay there. Be there in that pose, feeling the stretch in my hip, checking in with my shoulders and neck and back.
I've read plenty of books and articles about "stepping outside your comfort zone" and how important that is for change. And I've done it on a small scale when learning new things (podcasting for example).
But what I never really took on, what I never explored was actually feeling uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable on purpose and coming back for more.
You have to physically feel it in your body.
This realization startled me yesterday. I felt so stupid, like, duh, of course you have to FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE to break through.
I haven't done regular yoga in about 15 years and started again in January. IT'S HARD! I'M UNCOMFORTABLE! But I keep going back because I know it will get better. (It already has even though I freakin tripped on my big toe and fell yesterday. Ugh. Uncomfortable!)
Goal for 2020: If you are not uncomfortable, you are not doing it right. (And you know I'm not talking just about yoga, right?)
(A picture of pigeon pose, but not a picture of me.)