The Corona Diaries Week 49 - Cresting The Summit

Apologies for switching metaphors on you.

Maybe it should have been "I feel a breeze coming" or some such.

I'm starting to feel some positive stuff again. That's the main take away. More people I know are getting vaccinated, another vaccine has been approved, and summer is looking better and better. I even started looking at flights to far away places for Christmas time. I was going to say "I guess you call that hope," but I haven't lost hope, I guess I lost patience. I wanted to speed things up to better days. Don't we all.

Part of what was screwing me up was my dumb brain doing that hindsight thing. Thoughts like "Well, if you had started that last April, you'd be done by now" which is true on one hand. True in a normal year. But total BS for 2020. I mean, in April 2020 everything was still scary and weird and unclear and uncertain. How could you plan anything when the whole world felt out of balance, on fire and insane? (That orange guy was still president and it was not clear if he would be reelected or not!)

The old monkey brain, the bullsh*t talking brain was trying to make me feel like I had failed. Failed what? So I reflected back on the last year and am proud of the things I've accomplished:

• Kept the household running smoothly
• Cooked good dinners most nights (we eat together at the table almost every night)
  
• Learned how to make Japanese milk bread (better make some more this week)
• Put on an amazing array of summer camp activities for Harper last year (this one is HUGE)
• Worked my ASS off during the fall with election volunteering/texting. YOU'RE WELCOME AMERICA.
• Went camping (well, that was not wildly successful! but we sort of did it...)
• Had a getaway to the desert in November
• Completed one manuscript for a short novel
• Started another manuscript for a short novel
• Kept a group of friends connected and supported every week (every single week)
  
• Started running jogging trudging again. Okay okay, I'll give myself "jogging". (It is definitely not running!)
• Gained only five pounds this year. Amazing, honestly.
• Schooled Harper in all the Marvel movies.
• Taught Art class almost every week for Harper's third grade glass. (Extra challenging over zoom, let me tell you!)

That's the list that comes to mind as I sit here on a Sunday morning. Please feel free to tell me what else I've done/accomplished this year.

This past week has been a really good one in terms of attitude shift. And not just my attitude with the pandemic, the anticipation of things getting so much better, but with the longer future, my own path, where-to next in my life. Like the seeds I planted a few years ago, which have been growing into small plants, are now finally showing signs of flowering (which will then bear fruit not unlike the strawberry plant in my kitchen - see below).

Ms. Eight Of Swords over here has been a running theme so far for 2021 and I revisit her message often, especially the reversed position. Don't let that image fool you, there is good news within.

Now onto the weekly recap. Let's start with cats.

This guy.

I wake up before the sun to get very quiet, very focused creative time to myself. First stop, go potty. Mr. Biscuit usually follows me in. Sometimes he jumps up on the sink. But last week? Well. I don't know what to tell  you other than I'm glad I had my phone with me.

Just trying to pee here, Mr. Biscuit. Could you give me some space?

Also, on one morning last week around 4am, he jumped on my little nightstand (something else he never does) and KNOCKED MY GLASS OF WATER OFF THE TABLE. Grrrr. Nothing like being up at 4am mopping up water in the dark. Cats.

This was a big week for Biscuit as he killed his first bird. Eek! Apparently he brought it in the house and was playing with its lifeless body in the hallway. Willoughby needs to teach him leave it at the door, like she does.

But he's so pretty.

Kurt and Willoughby shared a moment.

Blood orange was the theme at Trader Joe's this week. Make their blood orange cake and bought some of the actual oranges which turned into a cocktail. But the cocktail needed a touch of sweet (That is salt on the rim.)

Ate some lovely fresh greens and purples.

Baked our favorite no-knead olive bread which literally sits for 8 hours, then you flop it around a little more, let it sit for another hour then bake it.

Burned myself in the process AND it was under-baked. Fack.

Saw a new doctor, new GP, and did the fasting all morning before the appointment (to get the blood tests done). Special treat was picking up a chicken burrito from Poquito Mas for lunch. Haven't been there in ages.

Harper helped me with a birthday card for her cousin Matthew.

I met an old friend in Sierra Madre and we walked to a coffee place next door to a cleaners. PANTORIUM! It just made me laugh. "BRING YOUR PANTS TO THE PANTORIUM!"

The aforementioned strawberry plant. I got this as a thank you gift last summer when I sewed masks for a friend. It came as a packet of seeds and a little ceramic planting pot with dirt which I planted and keep in our kitchen window sill.

They grew, then I split apart the tiny plants and put half in a bigger pot. And this week I noticed tiny flowers with wee little strawberries forming! There are about four on the plant. I can't believe it. I'm so pleased and proud. Add this to my list: Patience and nurturing of my strawberry plants.

Patience and nurturing. We all need that more than anything this year.

The Corona Diaries Week 48 - Ever Drifting

Sums it all up:

Mockingbird here to mock me. Because what I need is more mocking. As if my self-loathing is not enough.

Made an egg salad sandwich on white bread with lots of salt. It was yummy.

Marinated ribs kalbi style.

Then grilled them up. Also yummy.

Prepped science class items for Harper.

Monorail Biscuit.

Harper wanted to go to the windy hiking spot again. So we did.

Our neighbors with the amazing winter garden stopped me on my walk the other morning and said to please pick a big handful. So I did.

Went to the park today with one friend from school. They have a 3 month old baby.

IT WAS SO HARD NOT TO REACH OUT AND GRAB UP THE BABY TO SNUGGLE AND SMOOCH.

It was nice to see friends in real life.

I'm really really really really really fucking tired of this shit.

The Corona Diaries Week 47 - Drifting

Still drifting.

It's Wednesday and I've barely been able to get up the enthusiasm to write this blog post.

I was thinking of The Long Winter in the Little House series. They are trapped in their house with no food or trains or supplies. Day after day as the blizzards came and went, they ground wheat in the coffee grinder to make bread. That was literally all they had to eat for months. I know, we are not starving and it's not even cold. But the image of the daily grinding grinding grinding is feeling familiar to me. Along with the monotony of the weather here. Look. If I have to be stuck in my house every damn day, it could at least be raining. But no. (And I am not trying to be insensitive to all the people in Texas, etc, who are literally freezing without power and heat right at this moment. That is brutal and it's going to be a tough recovery.) I'm just going a bit f*cking crazy with the sameness day in and day out.

So here we go.

Harper attended a zoom birthday party on Super Bowl Sunday afternoon for her friend Violet. First there was the birthday girl stopping by to drop off the party things (and pick up her gift).

The bag held cupcakes in these cute boxes.

As well as decorating items - toppings, sprinkles and frosting made ready in a piping bag.

Then the virtual party and decorating.

Harper's card to her friend.

The birthday girl's dad is a professional photographer so he put this together of Violet dropping off party supplies for all the guests. I feel like it is such a succinct image artifact for this pandemic era. (click for bigger if you want.)

Later that day was the Super Bowl, which I barely took notice of. But! I made a pot of chili and some cornbread.

We did a grid. Harper and Willoughby were the big winners.

In the middle of all the...fun? Our kind neighbor with an incredible veggie garden stopped by with this handful of greens. It was so pretty I just stuck it in a vase for a day or two, then got around to chopping some up for a salad lunch.

Later in the week I tried making this recipe. I only had frozen tuna, but what the hey. I had finally gotten a hold of miso paste so I was ready.

It got a bit um DARK.

It didn't cut well and frankly ended up looking like cat food. (Tasted fine.)

Willoughby was fine with it. I was just annoyed.

Mid week monochromatic lunch for Harper. Healthy, but one simple color palate.

Cats are nice.

Did I include this in my last post? Probably. But I still love it and want to frame it.

Took the girl out for a trash collection walk one morning.

We found LOTS of caterpillars in our garden.

Last year I signed up for the NIH (national institutes for health) study about covid. It's all totally anonymous and so I don't know what they do with or discover about my blood. But I sent in a blood sample last year and there was a follow up sampling last week. They send you about 4 times the amount of supplies that you will actually need.

Also got a mobile knife sharpening guy to come over to sharpen our knives along with scissors and our swiss army knife. Can't wait to pack that little knife on our next trip to Europe. Swiss Army knives will always make me think of Europe.

Tom dropped by with some treats - including three "Goose" the cat mini figs for Harper. We watched Captain Marvel again that night for fun. We've also been watching WandaVision which is crazy and good and there are three episodes left and we are waiting with bated breath!

Are class last week was about making Valentine cards.

Harper also wrote cards for Grace and Gammo with sweet images of HUGS.

Clay class was also Valentine Themed.

Last Saturday I forced everyone out of the house again for a walk in nature. It's kind of like pulling teeth, honestly. But I'll keep doing it. We went to Kenneth Hahn State Recreation Area. It was pretty busy/full, but luckily it's a LARGE park.

Harper said she LOVED the windy spot the best. And there were many birds of prey to watch swooping and floating.

Found one geocache!

Then there were birds to feed and chase.

Then it was Valentine's Day. We all gave each other chocolates and cards.

Did my best/worst heart-shaped pancakes for brunch.

Then swedish meatballs and mushy peas for dinner. Random.

On Monday - a holiday - I did a big tidy up of my clothes. Pulled all the clothes out...

Then sorted them into "give away" and still to deal with.

It felt good to do I guess.

And now it's another week. Grind grind grind.

 

The Corona Diaries Week 46 - Still Stuck In The Doldrums

Still here. Still in blah mode.

The mom guilt reared its ugly head this week and while burning this candle was nice, it didn't help with the guilt.

Harper has not had enough physical exercise at all lately and she needs it. I need to force myself and her out the door more often. Or at least make her do some online dance/fun stuff. It's hard enough to commit to MYSELF to exercise enough. Ugh. I do go out every day and walk or "run". But that's my ME time, my time out of the damn house, my time to listen to podcasts and be alone. I do well when I exercise in the morning, then can come home, shower, start the day. And that would be the easiest time to get Harper out, but then when do I go? I have to stop being so precious with my time I guess. Just get over it.

It's not like I have to get dressed and go into an office. I could be sweaty and stinky all day, it doesn't matter.

Whatever.

She's mostly doing fine, thank the gods/goddesses.

She enjoys digging out and wearing my cowboy boots.

And the occasional VR Game. (that's like exercise, right? Sigh.)

I'm constantly recruiting her to draw pictures in cards (as you've seen). This week she did a card for Gammo Jane...

...and a friend's daughter's birthday.

And in art class (taught my moi) we did snowperson perspective drawings. One kid on the zoom said "This is my favorite art project so far!" That made my cold heart warm up a bit.

In clay class they made little foxes and a nature scene.

And this is...uh...weird. One doll wrapped in a ribbon, another covered in goo. Cool cool. "ART"

Food this week was also kind of blah. I was working on eating out of our freezer, trying to clear it out, so the dinners were not very exciting. I did make spinach pancakes for lunch again one day.

Also we got a delivery of Girl Scout Cookies. Half of these will go into the newly cleared out freezer...

A smattering of images to represent my week.

This was a small thing - a bit of tidying up that I'd been putting off for ages (this plus another inbox full of paid bills and other paperwork), but oh it felt nice. There is still a medium size stack of things to actually go through, but mostly it's all clean and NICE.

In all the cleaning out, I found these from a while back. Both make me so happy.

Family portrait.

Mr. Biscuit's adoption day listing!

Then. Just to mix things the F*CK UP - I went to give blood. Grace had mentioned she'd just gone and I thought- YES! I could go do that! So I went to the UCLA Blood and Platelet Center, where I've gone for years. But it had been six years since I last gave. Way too long between donations. Normally I'm 100% doing it for the good community spirit. This time, I'll admit I did it also for the free Covid Antibodies test you can get. I'm pretty sure it will be negative, but cool to find out. That will take about 3 weeks.

When I took off my bandage a few hours later, surprise! A slip of the needle left some blood in my arm.

Which now looks like this today. Doesn't hurt, just looks wacky.

I've made another appointment to donate again in April. I will do better about donating more regularly.

There is talk out there in the media about opening schools again soon. I'm content to wait until all the teachers and staff and most of us parents are vaccinated. I don't expect school to really go back in person until the August start. (FINGERS CROSSED SO HARD FOR THAT!) but if they were able to go back in May even for the last few weeks, that would be so wonderful. Hard to know right now, though the signs are good. By the time I donate more blood, we'll know for sure, right???