Apologies for switching metaphors on you.
Maybe it should have been "I feel a breeze coming" or some such.
I'm starting to feel some positive stuff again. That's the main take away. More people I know are getting vaccinated, another vaccine has been approved, and summer is looking better and better. I even started looking at flights to far away places for Christmas time. I was going to say "I guess you call that hope," but I haven't lost hope, I guess I lost patience. I wanted to speed things up to better days. Don't we all.
Part of what was screwing me up was my dumb brain doing that hindsight thing. Thoughts like "Well, if you had started that last April, you'd be done by now" which is true on one hand. True in a normal year. But total BS for 2020. I mean, in April 2020 everything was still scary and weird and unclear and uncertain. How could you plan anything when the whole world felt out of balance, on fire and insane? (That orange guy was still president and it was not clear if he would be reelected or not!)
The old monkey brain, the bullsh*t talking brain was trying to make me feel like I had failed. Failed what? So I reflected back on the last year and am proud of the things I've accomplished:
- Kept the household running smoothly
- Cooked good dinners most nights (we eat together at the table almost every night)
- Learned how to make Japanese milk bread (better make some more this week)
- Put on an amazing array of summer camp activities for Harper last year (this one is HUGE)
- Worked my ASS off during the fall with election volunteering/texting. YOU'RE WELCOME AMERICA.
- Went camping (well, that was not wildly successful! but we sort of did it...)
- Had a getaway to the desert in November
- Completed one manuscript for a short novel
- Started another manuscript for a short novel
- Kept a group of friends connected and supported every week (every single week)
- Started running jogging trudging again. Okay okay, I'll give myself "jogging". (It is definitely not running!)
- Gained only five pounds this year. Amazing, honestly.
- Schooled Harper in all the Marvel movies.
- Taught Art class almost every week for Harper's third grade glass. (Extra challenging over zoom, let me tell you!)
That's the list that comes to mind as I sit here on a Sunday morning. Please feel free to tell me what else I've done/accomplished this year.
This past week has been a really good one in terms of attitude shift. And not just my attitude with the pandemic, the anticipation of things getting so much better, but with the longer future, my own path, where-to next in my life. Like the seeds I planted a few years ago, which have been growing into small plants, are now finally showing signs of flowering (which will then bear fruit not unlike the strawberry plant in my kitchen - see below).
Ms. Eight Of Swords over here has been a running theme so far for 2021 and I revisit her message often, especially the reversed position. Don't let that image fool you, there is good news within.
Now onto the weekly recap. Let's start with cats.
I wake up before the sun to get very quiet, very focused creative time to myself. First stop, go potty. Mr. Biscuit usually follows me in. Sometimes he jumps up on the sink. But last week? Well. I don't know what to tell you other than I'm glad I had my phone with me.
Also, on one morning last week around 4am, he jumped on my little nightstand (something else he never does) and KNOCKED MY GLASS OF WATER OFF THE TABLE. Grrrr. Nothing like being up at 4am mopping up water in the dark. Cats.
This was a big week for Biscuit as he killed his first bird. Eek! Apparently he brought it in the house and was playing with its lifeless body in the hallway. Willoughby needs to teach him leave it at the door, like she does.
Blood orange was the theme at Trader Joe's this week. Make their blood orange cake and bought some of the actual oranges which turned into a cocktail. But the cocktail needed a touch of sweet (That is salt on the rim.)
Baked our favorite no-knead olive bread which literally sits for 8 hours, then you flop it around a little more, let it sit for another hour then bake it.
Saw a new doctor, new GP, and did the fasting all morning before the appointment (to get the blood tests done). Special treat was picking up a chicken burrito from Poquito Mas for lunch. Haven't been there in ages.
Harper helped me with a birthday card for her cousin Matthew.
The aforementioned strawberry plant. I got this as a thank you gift last summer when I sewed masks for a friend. It came as a packet of seeds and a little ceramic planting pot with dirt which I planted and keep in our kitchen window sill.
They grew, then I split apart the tiny plants and put half in a bigger pot. And this week I noticed tiny flowers with wee little strawberries forming! There are about four on the plant. I can't believe it. I'm so pleased and proud. Add this to my list: Patience and nurturing of my strawberry plants.
Patience and nurturing. We all need that more than anything this year.