Safety Graphic Fun

Adoption Safety

It's a sad day in the world when some countries don't let Safety Mom and Dad adopt a human baby. That's just wrong.

Thanks Fräulein M!

Abduction Safety

It's usually easier to abduct children by taking them OUT of the baby carriage. (Not condoning, just sayin...)

Thanks Daniel F!

 

Crib Safety

I've heard that kids grow up faster and faster these days, but can't they hold off on shredding until at least kindergarten?

Thanks Jay C!

Pegleg Safety

Blackbeard's cousin, Red Footed Pegleg, is an outcast pirate. Too much Sweetheart, not enough Swashbuckle.

Thanks Daniel F!

Shredder Safety

So first we learn that "Fire Kills Children" and now we find out that babies don't go in shredders. Why has it taken so long for this important information to come out??

Thanks Don C!

Bond Safety

To properly bond with your newborn, shoot a large arrow at its head.

Thanks Wendy W!

 

 

Sailor Safety

For the four images in on the left, I just keep hearing "One of these things is not like the other..."

And the military seems quite desperate to get new recruits in. Gives new meaning to "sailor boys."

Thanks Ravit!

Obesity Safety

Treadmill manufacturers should reconsider this graphic. I hear childhood obesity is getting out of hand.

Thanks Eileen P!

Infant Safety

I thought Skinner boxes were vented. No? I guess I'll have to send ours back.

 

Thanks Monica H!
 

Instructions Safety

This looks more like an ad and instructions for serial killers. 

"Kill and dismember all from the comfort of your padded chair in our motorized killing machine!"

Thanks Connie!

Plastic Bag Safety

These are very popular and I've received many of them. They make me laugh each and every time. 

They usually come as a pair like this:

With color:

 

There even seems to be one from the 60's -- check that bouffant!

 

Which then reminds me of Mad Men and this hilarious scene with Betty and Sally.

Thanks to everyone who sent or handed me these fabulous graphics: Nicholas J, Darrell T, Kurt D, Emily L, Megan H, Lina D, Nick C, MacsRWe and Travis!

 

Caption The Baby Safety

Except for the part about "look out for falling aliens" I'm overwhelmed with all these images. Help a safety fan out and comment away with your captions.

(Not a contest this time, just some long weekend fun!)

 

Thanks Monica H!
 

Wolf Safety

 Susie tried to warn her mother about the giant robots coming their way, but she'd cried wolf one too many times and her mom would not listen. 

 

Thanks Eilonwy S!
 

Pregnant Safety

Wait, when did we start using "pregnant" as a verb?

 

Thanks Melody B!
 

Carnival Safety

The second image really caught my eye and is very confusing. Are they providing a public service to tell kids going to the carnival to avoid having unprotected sex to avoid pregancy? Or do they mean don't come if you are pregnant? That image looks more like "no breastfeeding." 

Carnivals used to be so much fun.

 

Thanks Fraulein M!
 
 

Giant Baby Safety

Good thing these aren't for use on people or you'd run out of baby wipes real quick. That kid is huge!

 

Thanks Nicholas J!
 

Wheeled Baby Safety

Can I bring the stroller without a baby in it?

 

Thanks Jack! How's the weather in Berlin? LOL
 

Diaper Safety

How do I adopt this baby? He's self-cleaning, self-securing, self-diapering -- awesome! Okay, he falls from time to time. Small price to pay...

 

Thanks Casey B!

 
 
 

Interrogation Safety

Is this some kind of enhanced interrogation technique? If so, why are we using it on babies now??

 

Thanks again, Tea Time With Socrates!
 

Pterodactyl Safety

But go ahead and use it as a hat, a broach or a pterodactyl.

(Anyone? Anyone??)

 

Thanks Drew K P!

(Okay, here's the link.)